Doing Family Right

Maximizing your most
important relationships.

Marriage: Choosing Your Hero Couple

A Hero Couple helps you keep your marriage strong and on track. We feel that every couple is wise to agree on and approach a more mature couple like this to be their source of perspective and guidance. All couples have problems in their marriages. You will too. Wouldn’t it be great if there were those who knew you and cared about your life and marriage? Even if you have been married for a number of years, it’s not too late to get a Hero Couple. Why not take steps toward getting one to work with you?

 

A.   THE PURPOSE OF A HERO COUPLE

  • To be your personal marriage coaches.
  • To model a healthy, growing marital relationship.
  • To hold you accountable & offer encouragement.
  • To work through the tough questions.
  • To help you face issues sooner rather than later.
  • To help you with develop the skills for marriage.

B.   WHO YOUR HERO COUPLE SHOULD BE

 

  • A couple that both of you have observed, know and respect.
  • A couple you admire and would model your marriage after.
  • A couple you would feel safe to share tough issues with.
  • A couple that has been married at least 5 years though more is better.
  • A couple that has the time to meet 3 or 4 times per year for 3 years.
  • A couple other than your parents.
  • A couple that agrees to be your Hero Couple.

C.   HOW TO CHOOSE A HERO COUPLE

 

  • List the names of some couples whose marriages fit the above criteria.
  • Think through the pros and cons about each couple.
  • It is wise to ask God in prayer for a peace about which couple to ask.
  • Choose who you think will be the best and approach them.
  • If they are unavailable or unwilling, go after another Hero Couple.

D.   WHAT TO DO WITH YOUR HERO COUPLE

 

  • Agree that no topic is off limits and the goal is to work through issues early.
  • Set a time every 3 months or so to meet to talk about your marriages.
  • Discuss the adjustments needed or problems that have come up in your marriage.
  • Be willing to open up through question and answer.
    • You ask questions of them – learn from their wisdom and experience!
    • Let them ask you questions — be honest in your answers!
    • Find out how your Hero Couple keeps their love alive.
    • Find out how your Hero Couple made it through hard times.
    • Look forward to receiving encouragement and couching from them.

Note: If some of you don’t feel you have a couple in your world who could be a Hero Couple for you, be sure to start asking us your questions to at least start getting answers for the issues you currently have.

 

© Dr. Dave & Donalyn Currie, June 2010 

Dr. Dave and Donalyn Currie have been coaching
couples for over 25 years. They have mentored over
700 couples in premarital education. Ask them the
questions you would like to ask your hero couple.