Doing Family Right

Maximizing your most
important relationships.

eZine #33-What does God say about sex?

I’m not sure if you have these kinds of posts have come up one your Facebook feed but there have been a lot of negative comments made by “good Christian” young adults who waited for marriage to have sex and found themselves deeply disillusioned. The concept that their sex life would be “perfect” or “amazing” if they just waited didn’t come to be. Some have shared that the amount of guilt put onto them about sex and waiting actually caused them so much shame that they weren’t free to be intimate on their wedding night, it was instead filled with tears and heartache.

Some of these comments and posts have validity, but others are likely based on a misinterpretation and application of what was taught. Regardless, it is our responsibility as parents and advocates of Jesus to share truth in love – but most importantly with enough details and facts for it to be used and applied effectively.

It’s probably also worth noting that we have a tendency to drop information onto our kids and then write that off as a “job well done” and never speak of it again. Well, the sex talk in particular is NOT a one-time conversation. It’s a continually evolving and developing thing, potentially even after marriage. This reality is tangible in our ministry world as we do premarital counselling and do our best to support those we work with through the good and hard in marriage and life.

The truth is, God created and designed sex, and it is an AWESOME blessing to us as married couples. He wants us to enjoy each other in marriage and we do need to tell our kids about why God created and gifted sex to us. A list of “don’ts” NEVER works without an understanding of why, and most importantly “yes’s”. It’s time for us to educate our kids about the beauty of this gift, balanced with the truth that it takes time, love, safety and practice to enjoy this gift of sex in marriage as God designed.

Our resources today will give you some important information and reminders of God’s design for sex and help equip you to create an excited and realistic anticipation for your kids that will motivate them toward a healthy sex life, as God designed.


Doing Family Right Tip #263

Podcast: What God Says About Sex

Doing Family Right Article: Talking about & Improving Sex as a Couple 

© David McVety-September 30, 2016

David McVety: Assistant Director at Doing Family Right