Doing Family Right

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Marriage: How to Tell Your Man You Love Him

Wives, how do you show your husband you really love him? You likely have your ideas of what works great for the man in your life. Let us add to the mix. We conducted an informal survey with a group of husbands and asked them to tell us what they wish their wife would do to express that love. These are their words. Listen and learn. Here’s what they told us:

“Appreciate the things I do rather than focusing on the things I don’t do.”

“Take more initiative to set up special times together.”

“Be my greatest supporter.”

“Take the initiative sexually and be physically responsive to me.”

“Just stop criticizing me. Once in a while, tell me I’m a good husband.”

“Allow me some time to myself. I recharge when I am alone.”

“Accept my weaknesses and love me unconditionally.”

“Be spontaneous with hugs and kisses and saying ‘I love you’.”

“Cook my favourite meal; greet me with a smile; make a big deal of my birthday.”

“Express appreciation when I help around the house. ‘It’s about time’ isn’t ‘thank you’.”

“Gently correct me in private rather than contradicting me in front of others.”

“Give me a chance to drop my briefcase, say ‘hi’ and relax before you give me your concerns and problems.”

“Just listen to me without assuming what I’m thinking or about to say. Don’t interrupt.”

What are you hearing these men say? What would your husband say if we had asked him? It appears these guys are far less Neanderthal than you might have thought. Though sex and food are listed, respect, appreciation and gratitude seem to scream love pretty loud. Affection and making an effort in the relationship score well too.  I challenge you to get brave. Print this article and ask your husband to choose 3 of the above quotes that he identifies with the most. Ask him why without being defensive. Then ask him to share what you could do to really show him you love him. Listen and learn and love deeper!

© Dr. Dave Currie – October 2003