Doing Family Right

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Marriage: Negotiating Tips for Sexpectations

A Couple Discussion Guide

Suggestion: Why not take these 3 sets of questions about sexual expectations in your marriage to talk through on 3 separate dates, walks or late night discussions? Have the interaction away from a time of intimacy and work to simply listen to understand your mate’s needs and preferences. Remember, sex is a journey of two.



1. How many times per week would you need to have sex to be satisfied? Choose a number.
2. Explain the number you chose.
3. Between the two of you, what beyond intercourse could bring satisfying sexual release?
4. Negotiate what a healthy sexual balance of frequency looks like for the 2 of you?


1. What do you find enjoyable about quickies? Or find distasteful about quickies?
2. What do you find enjoyable about extended experiences? Or find distasteful about extended times of sex?
3. What most easily distracts you from being fully focused during your sexual encounters? What might help you stay more focused?
4. What prevents you from maintaining sexual stamina? What might help you?


1. How much time in foreplay do you need to be satisfied?
2. What are your greatest sexual turn-ons when it comes to foreplay? Biggest turn-offs?
3. Discuss whether your sex life has gotten better, worse, or stayed the same and why?
4. What do you need in sexual variation to be more fully satisfied?
5. How do you come to agreement on your freedoms in sexual variation?

© By Dr. Dave Currie & Christie Rayburn – November 2008. All Rights Reserved. Original work was developed in conjunction with the TV show “Marriage Uncensored with Dave & Christie”. Enjoy Sex: Now You’re Talking by visiting this link –