Marriage: Our Top 10 Tips for Resolving Conflicts in Relationships
Attitude is key; you must want to resolve the conflict. Willingly put your heads and heart together to solve the problem.
1. Agree that problems are a normal part of all relationships and don’t have to capsize the marriage. All marriages must work through conflict. It’s how you handle them that matters.
2. Set a precedent to reaffirm the end result of the discussion before you get started. “We are going to work this out and I love you. Now let’s talk.” Start this pattern early in your relationship.
3. Make it your goal to be closer to your spouse after the discussion on an issue. Don’t fight in a way that divides you more. Maintain a your cool by using a calm, gentle tone, using loving, kind words while displaying full respect.
4. Agree to set a time to actually talk through the issues. Don’t blindside your spouse by bringing up an issue out of the blue. On the other hand, don’t keep saying “no” to their desire to talk something through with you.
5. Deal with one issue at a time. How hard is that? Jot down your thoughts a head of time. Discuss the topic without bringing in other issues that exist. Enjoy the satisfaction and the freedom of having solved one problem. Success is good.
6. Focus on the problem and don’t attack, blame or criticize your partner. Allow your commitment to them and the marriage be the anchor and agree together saying that “we have a problem” and then work on it.
7. Watch yourself if you are getting defensive and agitated. Greater movement and increased volume decreases the chances of resolving the conflict.
8. Slow down, and settle down, and sit down!
9. Establish a visual or verbal “time-out” signal to let your mate know that you must stop the discussion for a while. This will allow you to simmer down and resume the talk or agree on a better time when you aren’t feeling hurt or angry.
10. Get outside help. Conflict resolution skills are so important because with them, you can solve any frustration in your marriage. These good communication principles set the tone for all future steps of freedom and unity. Go to a professional counselor, pastor or psychologist for the help you need. Send your questions to us and we will seek to help as well.
© By Dr. Dave Currie & Christie Rayburn – March 2008. All Rights Reserved. Original work was developed in conjunction with the TV show “Marriage Uncensored with Dave & Christie”. Enjoy the show: Conflict: When You Can’t See Eye to Eye by visiting this link – www.marriageuncensored.com/shows.php