Doing Family Right

Maximizing your most
important relationships.

Marriage: Sex ~ Now You’re Talking!

A Couple Discussion Starter

1. Set up a DATE to talk about only your sex life.

  • Outside the bedroom
  • Without interruptions
  • Don’t be in a rush

2. Be willing to HONESTLY OPEN UP about your concerns and your delights.

Warning: This could be the hardest step!

3. Use the following QUESTIONS as your starting point.

  • Is this a comfortable conversation for you? Why or why not?
  • What factors influenced your attitude towards sex growing up?
  • How would you describe the sexual expectations you brought to marriage?
  • What have you learned sexually about your spouse since marriage?
  • What have you surprisingly learned about your own sexual needs/desires?
  • What part could you see yourself playing in making your sex life more satisfying?
  • What one hurdle if overcome would give you greater freedom sexually?
  • How could you as a couple add variety to your sex life?
  • What could you do to feel more sexy or good about yourself?
  • Do you feel physically desired and wanted by your spouse?

4. DISCUSS ISSUES that come out of these questions.

  • You MUST be a safe place for your spouse to be able to talk freely.
  • Take personal responsibility by starting your sentences with “I” versus “You”. Avoid pointing fingers!
  • Remind each other that this conversation is meant to draw you both closer.

5. NEGOTIATE to the beginnings of compromise.

  • Work to be a great lover. Learn. Grow. Adapt. Risk. Care deeper!
  • Your sexual relationship is a lifetime journey of discovery and delight.

“Remember that compromise is the art of dividing the cake in a way that everyone believes he has gotten the biggest piece.”

© By Dr. Dave Currie & Christie Rayburn – November 2008. All Rights Reserved. Original work was developed in conjunction with the TV show “Marriage Uncensored with Dave & Christie”. Enjoy Sex: Now You’re Talking by visiting this link –