Marriage: Sex ~ Now You’re Talking!

A Couple Discussion Starter

1. Set up a DATE to talk about only your sex life.

• Outside the bedroom
• Without interruptions
• Don’t be in a rush

2. Be willing to HONESTLY OPEN UP about your concerns and your delights.

Warning: This could be the hardest step!

3. Use the following QUESTIONS as your starting point.

• Is this a comfortable conversation for you? Why or why not?
• What factors influenced your attitude towards sex growing up?
• How would you describe the sexual expectations you brought to marriage?
• What have you learned sexually about your spouse since marriage?
• What have you surprisingly learned about your own sexual needs/desires?
• What part could you see yourself playing in making your sex life more satisfying?
• What one hurdle if overcome would give you greater freedom sexually?
• How could you as a couple add variety to your sex life?
• What could you do to feel more sexy or good about yourself?
• Do you feel physically desired and wanted by your spouse?

4. DISCUSS ISSUES that come out of these questions.

• You MUST be a safe place for your spouse to be able to talk freely.
• Take personal responsibility by starting your sentences with “I” versus “You”. Avoid pointing fingers!
• Remind each other that this conversation is meant to draw you both closer.

5. NEGOTIATE to the beginnings of compromise.

• Work to be a great lover. Learn. Grow. Adapt. Risk. Care deeper!
• Your sexual relationship is a lifetime journey of discovery and delight.

“Remember that compromise is the art of dividing the cake in a way that everyone believes he has gotten the biggest piece.”

© By Dr. Dave Currie & Christie Rayburn – November 2008. All Rights Reserved. Original work was developed in conjunction with the TV show “Marriage Uncensored with Dave & Christie”. Enjoy Sex: Now You’re Talking by visiting this link – www.marriageuncensored.com/show.php